


Emilia's Greedy Obsession

by Demon_Maid



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Adult Content, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nudity, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:42:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28709118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demon_Maid/pseuds/Demon_Maid
Summary: This work details various days in the life of Emilia from her POV. This story is set in the Kasaneru/Greed IF timeline where Subaru accepted Echidna's contract during Arc 4. The attempt of this work is provide a more well rounded experience with the characters by depicting both happy and sad moments for the characters. Expect both headpats and stabbings.My beta reader refers to this work as Blursed.This work takes place after Arc 4/Season 2 of Re:Zero. Contains Arc 4/Season 2 Spoilers. For a fuller understanding of this story, reading Kasaneru/Greed IF is recommended, but not required.
Relationships: Emilia/Natsuki Subaru
Comments: 30
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Contains Arc 4/Season 2 Spoilers. For a fuller understanding of this story, reading Kasaneru/Greed IF is recommended, but not required. 
> 
> A/N at the end.

# Rest Day

Emilia yawns. She didn't sleep well the night before. She hasn't slept well in over a month. Ever since she had horribly failed the first trial at the Sanctuary, Emilia has nightmares every night. She can never remember what the dreams are about once she wakes. 

Like many mornings, Emilia lays in bed grasping at the fading threads of her dreams, trying to recall any part of what causes her eyes to shed tears while she sleeps. In the end, she is only left with the pain in her chest pulling her heart down like a weight. 

Emilia rubs the residual moisture out of her eyes and looks at the colored crystal on her wall to see the time. It is late in the morning. Later than she would normally have slept. Her eyes are tired. Her eyes are tired a lot since she stopped getting quality sleep. 

_Subaru._

This is the name that rushes to the front of her fuzzy consciousness. The name of the black haired boy with nasty eyes. The boy that saved her in the royal capital of Lagunica Kingdom when she was attacked by the assassin, Elsa Granhiert. The boy that saved her from the Witch Cult's Archbishop of Sloth even after she had abandoned him in the same royal capital. The boy that had swept into the Sanctuary of Kremaldy to pull her to her feet with a burning kiss filled with a passion so hot it made her heart blaze anew when the trials of her past crushed her. The boy that said he loves her. 

That Subaru loves Emilia still amazes her. She, who was born as a vile half-elf with silver hair and amethyst eyes. She, who is a cursed existence. A blight. Her very life is an error in the world. She, who has the features of the Witch of Envy, Satella. The most dreadful being in the world's history whose whispered name makes the people of the world cry out in fear. 

Emilia doesn't understand love, but she knows she loves Subaru. Her soon to be chosen knight. The person that brings such a flame to her heart that sometimes she thinks it might burn her to ash. 

Emilia shakes her head. She needs to get up and get moving. She needs to dress. It was already late and Subaru would be arriving for his morning visit soon. Subaru came to see Emilia every morning without fail as long as he wasn't held up by others. 

_The others. When I think of them causing Subaru to spend less time with me, it causes a feeling in my chest like my dreams. I don't like that feeling... but, Puck taught me that I mustn't be greedy. Especially with Subaru's time._

Puck. The Great Spirit of Fire. The mouse colored cat spirit who is her father figure. He had raised her when she had awoken from 100 years of slumber in the ice. He is always by her side, guiding her through life. 

_No. He **was** always by my side. Puck abandoned me before we ever went to the Sanctuary. Why? Where are you, Father? Won't you come back? _

Emilia shakes her head again. She is dallying too much. She needs to clean her face and get ready to see her Subaru. 

Normally, one of the maids would have been in to wake her, but it was her rest day. Emilia is a diligent girl, but Subaru insists she rest for one day a week to keep her spirits up and replenish her mental energy. She would one day rule the Kingdom of Lagunica once she won the Royal Selection, so she needs to stay in tip top shape. She knows she will win because Subaru has told her she will. Subaru is amazing. He is always there when she needs him. He always knows what is best. 

_As long as I do what my Subaru says, everything will always turn out the best._

Emilia trusts Subaru completely. Emilia will give her everything to Subaru if he asks for it. She wants to give him everything he wants. When Subaru tells Emilia to study to be a better ruler, Emilia studies. When Subaru tells Emilia to rest, Emilia rests with all her might. 

_But today is so, so special! Subaru told me that today we would be going on a date to the flower fields as soon as he finished his work in the morning!_

Emilia's heart soars! She loves the flower fields. The flower fields are a precious place to Emilia. It was where Subaru had taken her on their first date. It was there, surrounded by beautiful multi-colored blooms, that Subaru had first told her that he would make her the Queen of Lagunica. It was there that he had placed a gorgeous crown of flowers on top her head. It was there that Subaru first made her heart warm. 

Emilia rushes into her personal bathroom, now full of energy and wide awake. She quickly stripes off her night wear and wets a towel in her bathroom sink. She briefly regrets that she doesn't have time for a full bath as she wipes her cream colored skin down from top to bottom and scrubbes her face. 

Finishing by drying herself with a fluffy towel, Emilia heads into her large walk-in closet. Emilia knows she needs to be very selective about her outfit. Puck had drilled this into her when they were preparing for her first date with Subaru. She still doesn't understand why Puck had seemed so nitpicky with her outfit and hair that day, but she knows it's super important to be fashionable for a date. 

First, Emilia needs to select what panties and bra to wear. 

_Although, I rea~~ly don't get why Puck was so picky since he said that Subaru wasn't allowed to see my underwear while we were on our first date._

As Emilia stares into her underwear drawer, she is lost as to what would be fashionable to wear on her date. While she is trying her best, Emilia still doesn't have the best grasp of fashion. She wants to pick ones that Subaru will like even if he won't see them on her and she knows her usual white bra and panties are no good today. 

As Emilia deliberates on what to wear, her eyes drift over to her flower crown from her first date with Subaru. She had thought it would be a shame to lose such a precious gift and had asked Puck to teach her a basic preservation enchantment, but Puck didn't know any. So, she had gone to Roswaal. 

Emilia still doesn't know what she thinks of Roswaal L. Mathers, the lord of the Mathers domain and currently the only noble to support her bid for the throne. He is an oddly dressed man with worse fashion sense than Emilia. He usually talks in a clownish manner and wears gaudy face paint. 

_But I've seen Roswaal when he was serious. Roswaal scares me a little. I'm not sure what he is rea~~lly capable of, but sometimes he can be rea~~lly creepy. Puck told me to watch out for him, too._

Roswaal's reaction to her request to preserve her flower crown had been odd. He gave Emilia a strange look when she had first burst into his office with Puck, but as she explained what she wanted, his face had expanded into a wide smile. Emilia found it a bit creepy, but it was rude to say that and she was happy when he immediately enchanted her precious crown. 

Emilia gently lifts her crown with a smile that would melt the hearts of the masses and gently places it on her head. She did a small, happy twirl. 

_I wonder if I can get a crown like this when my Subaru makes me queen? That would be wonderful._

Emilia brings her palm to her forehead. She must be more tired than she realizes because her mind is really wandering today. She needs to get ready for her date with Subaru! 

_But I'm really no good at this sort of thing. I have no idea what underwear would be the right set to pick. Normally, if I have to wear something outside of my usual outfit, one of the maids or more recently, Subaru picks my outfit the day before, but no one has told which one I should wear today. I wonder which set my Subaru would like?_

Knock, knock. A knock came from Emilia's bedroom door followed by the voice of her special person. "Emila-tan? Are you awake yet?"

 _Subaru!? But I still don't know what to wear! Emilia, you dunderhead! You took too long!_

As Emilia panics, Subaru's voice comes through her door again. "Emilia-tan? Should I come back later?" 

It is then, trapped between panic and sadness that Subaru might postpone their date because of her blunder, that Emilia is struck by a bolt of inspiration. 

_If I don't know what to wear, I just need Subaru to tell me what to wear! Subaru always knows what is best!_

Decision made and forgetting about her state of undress in her excitement at solving her dilema, Emilia rushes out of her closet and flings open her bedroom door wearing nothing but her flower crown. 

Subaru stood silhouetted in her doorframe as handsome as always. Today, he is dressed up slightly in an outfit Emilia has never seen before. After the events at the Sanctuary, Subaru had stopped being a servant of the Mathers' household in preparation to be her knight. Roswaal had even granted Subaru improved quarters, closer to her own. Subaru had retired his old tracksuits and was now dressing much more like a noble of the kingdom. Emilia likes the new look very much. She thinks Subaru looks very gallant in his button up shirt, vest, and slacks. 

The only thing Emilia doesn't like is the dark crystal necklace he always wears after the Sanctuary. For some reason, it gives Emilia the wilies just to look at it, but Subaru says it is important for him to be able to protect everyone and that she shouldn't touch it. Emilia doesn't like it, but if Subaru says it is so, then Emilia knows that is simply how it is. 

As she looks at Subaru, she sees his eyes widen and his pupils dilate as he looks her over from top to bottom, across the swell of her breasts, past her soft mound, down to her smooth, silky legs and back up again. Subaru's skin goes pale and then a deep pink. His eyes twitch as if he is trying and failing to look away from her and his mouth hangs slightly open. She doesn't really understand why her Subaru would be trying to look away from her or turning red, but it doesn't matter. Emilia needs his help. 

"Come on in Subaru! I need you to tell me what you want me to wear for our date!" Emilia proclaims thus as she pulls Subaru bodily into her room and towards her closet. 

"Emilia-tan!? How bold, but I don't think my heart is ready for this development!" 

As Emilia glances back at the boy she is pulling, she sees his eyes are locked on her swaying hips. It is only when Emilia also glances down at her own bottom that she realizes the state she is in. Emilia's skin also turns pink. 

_Emilia! Look at what you've done! Oh no! I was so excited to get Subaru's choice of my clothes that I forgot I hadn't put any on yet. What am I going to do if Subaru thinks I'm a weirdo now!? Puck said I shouldn't let a boy see my skin, but it's my Subaru. The man I love! So it's okay? Right? But Puck said... Puck said... **Puck is a liar. Puck abandoned me. Just like Mother Fortuna...** wait... Mother who? _

Subaru's eyes snap up from Emilia's heart shaped behind as he feels a chill from the wave of ice cold air that flows off Emilia. Emilia is confused. She reachs up and clutches her hair. The feelings from her nightmares rush into her heart all at once causing Emilia to collapse to her knees. 

_**Liars. Liars. Liars. Why does everyone lie to me? I'm a good girl. A good girl! Mother, Geuse, Puck! All liars! They all abandoned me!** Wait... who... who is Geuse? Who is my mother!? I don't understand! I'm a good girl! I didn't do it! I don't understand these thoughts! What didn't I do!? **I'm a good girl! I promise!**_

Tears flow from Emilia's wide eyes. Her body shakes. Frigid mana begins to frost the ground around her. 

"Dammit! We even got here earlier than in the previous loops. What happened this time? She was fine a minute ago. Shut up or help me, Echidna! I don't have time for your drama right now!" 

If Emilia wasn't absorbed in her own mind, maybe she would have heard Subaru. Maybe she would have questioned why her Subaru's lips spoke the name of the accursed Witch of Greed from the Sanctuary in her time of need. But Emilia didn't hear. She didn't understand. 

And then her Subaru is there, wrapping his strong arms around her and stroking her shoulder length silver hair in his comforting embrace. "Hush. It's okay, Emilia. I'm here. You are a good girl. I'm here. You'll be okay. I promise." He gently whispers to her. 

Subaru pulls Emilia into his lap and begins rocking her back and forth with a gentle smile. Emilia hadn't realized she had been muttering for the past couple of minutes. As her mind and heart begin to calm down, Emilia leans into Subaru's chest and sobs for a reason she doesn't understand while Subaru continues to stroke her bare back in gentle circles. 

"I'm sorry, Subaru. I... I don't know what came over me. You must think I'm a weirdo now." 

Emilia's face has a slight pout now and bit of unease is still present in her eyes, but her heart is starting to calm back down. Her Subaru looks at her with a gentle, kind expression and speaks in a soft voice. 

"It's alright, Emilia. I will always be here when you need me. I don't think you're weird at all. As much as it pains my teenage heart, why don't you put on your bathrobe, and I'll go get Petra to bring us some hot chocolate? Then I'll help you get ready for our date. How does that sound?" 

Emilia holds Subaru tighter for a few seconds longer, before making a small nod of her head. As she climbs out of Subaru's lap, his hand slides down her bare back, across her bouncy bottom, and down her leg. Emilia isn't sure if it is intentional or a coincidence on Subaru's part, but as the goosebumps rise on her skin from Subaru's passing hand create a very pleasant tingling sensation below Emilia's belly button, she feels her heart swell with warmth. 

She watches as Subaru rises up off her bedroom floor and heads toward her door. As he is heading out, he glances back at Emilia, a bright smile on his face. He winks as he closes her door. 

Just as the door is almost closed, Emilia sees Subaru's profile. His face is no longer smiling. It looks haggard with dead, lifeless eyes. Emilia shakes her head. 

"No. That can't be right. It must be a trick of the light since my bedroom curtains are still drawn." 

As Emilia mutters, Subaru sticks his head back through the almost closed door, a bright smile on his face. "Did you say something, Emilia-tan?" 

_Emilia, you dummy. You've made your Subaru worry over your eyes playing tricks on you._

"No, Subaru. I didn't say anything." 

Subaru nods and pulls his head back through the door, closing it behind him with a soft click. Emilia heads back into her closet and dons her bathrobe. She feels all together silly now, for all the ruckus she caused her Subaru. Still, she is so~~ happy that Subaru is there for her. She needs to try super hard to make it up to him. 

When Subaru returned a few minutes later, he smiled wide at Emilia. 

"Petra will be up in about fifteen minutes with the hot chocolate. Why don't I head into your closet and see about getting you dressed before she gets here? Meanwhile, you should head into the bathroom and wash the tear stains off your face. I don't want Petra to think I am abusing Emilia-tan in private." As Subaru spoke, he walked into Emilia's closet to begin laying out her outfit. 

"Subaru, you dummy. I know you would never hurt me on purpose." 

Emilia waited for a few seconds, but Subaru didn't respond with his usual teasing about her saying an old word like dummy. 

_Maybe he didn't hear me? When he teases me, I sometimes feel annoyed, but when he doesn't tease me, I always feel a bit lonely._

Emilia heads into the bathroom and scrubbes her face for the second time that day. She hopes she got herself cleaned up properly. Emilia couldn't check herself, since neither her bathroom nor bedroom had a mirror. One of her conditions for living here is that her rooms have no mirrors. Emilia doesn't like to look at her disgusting self. Not for the first time, Emilia wonders how different her life would have been if she had been born anything other than a filthy half-elf. 

As Emilia walks into her closet, she sees that Subaru has laid out a set of purple underwear, a white button up shirt, a purple sleeveless vest, a purple skirt, and white boots with a pair of socks that had tiny Pucks sewn on them. 

Emilia smiles at Subaru as she remembers the time her Subaru had brought her those socks. It was quite a surprise. Emilia hadn't been expecting such cute socks when he had first asked to altered them. 

"Alright, Emilia-tan. I'm going to head out so you can get dressed." 

_I don't really understand why Subaru is leaving. He's already seen me naked now. He already said that I'm not weird and a good girl. Plus I love my Subaru. So, it's okay, right, Puck?_

As Emilia started to raise her hand to stop Subaru, a knock came at her door. 

"Oh, that must be Petra. When you are finished, come on out and I will take care of Emilia-tan's hair and make-up." 

Quickly getting dressed, Emilia walks out of her closet to see her Subaru petting the head of the young maid before closing the door behind her. Emilia's face takes on a pouting expression. 

Emilia likes Petra. The twelve year old girl with shoulder length auburn hair is sweet and a hard worker. If Emilia has to name one thing she dislikes... 

_Puck said I shouldn't be greedy, but I don't like it when Subaru strokes other girls' hair. He should only be stroking my hair. I've seen the way Petra looks at my Subaru. He's Mine!_

As the heavy feelings of her dreams start to settle into Emilia's heart again, Subaru turns and smiles at Emilia. A smile so warm that it drags Emilia's heart back out of the darkness it had started to descend into. 

"Alright, Emilia-tan! How about we do braids for your hair today?" 

While Emilia sat on the bench near her make up and hair table, she smiles as her Subaru gently brushes and fusses over her silver hair, tying it in two short braids on the side of her head and bringing them around into a single braid at the back of her head. Emilia giggles as Subaru begins to lightly apply small amounts of make-up to her face with a very serious expression. 

_Subaru is so gentle. He always compliments my skin and tells me I don't need a whole lot of make-up to bring out my true beauty. I know he's just telling me that to make me feel better, but it really makes my heart warm. My Subaru._

"Alright, Emilia-tan. Now you are E.M.T.! Well, you are always E.M.T., but now you are even more E.M.T.!" 

Emilia giggles and drinks her hot chocolate. Subaru is so silly, but he wouldn't be her Subaru if he wasn't. All he has done is paint her face. Paint. Emilia wants to paint now. She is just about to open her mouth to suggest that they paint on their next date when Subaru interrupts her. 

"Emilia-tan, I thought that we would take some supplies and paint while we are out at the flower field. How does that sound? I already have a small wagon loaded and hitched to Patrasche." Subaru asks as he downs his now luke warm mug of hot chocolate. 

"Subaru! You always know just what I need, right when I need it! That makes me so~~ happy!" 

Emilia launches herself off of her seat and right into Subaru's arms. Subaru catches her easily and spins her around with a big grin. Emilia laughs like a silver bell. 

As Subaru and Emilia head toward the front door of the mansion, a pink haired maid is waiting in the entry hall. Her crimson eyes look up to catch sight of the couple coming down the grand staircase. She gives a brief curtsy. 

"Emilia-sama. I saw Patrasche outside. You should take care of your person if you are heading out with this worthless Barusu. He will surely lay his hands on your person." 

_Ram. I like Ram, but it rea~~lly burns me up that she says such mean things about my Subaru. He's not worthless! He's amazing! Why does it matter if he touches me? Why does she make it sound like a bad thing? **Subaru can touch me all he wants. I should scold her. Scold her lots!**_

Emilia's eyes narrow at Ram. Her mouth sets into a grim line. Tension builds in Emilia's muscles. In a cold, flat voice, "Ram. You shouldn't say such things about Subaru. He has done so~~ much for me since he came here. So~~ much for everyone here. You need to treat him with the respect he deserves." 

Subaru looks panicked. Ram looks shocked. Ram shivers as a wave of cold air washes over her. Emilia is angry. Subaru immediately rushes forward to stand between Emilia and Ram. He reaches out and takes both of Emilia's hands. "Emilia-tan, it's alright. You don't need to worry. Ram is just being Ram. It's okay." 

_Why? Why is my Subaru defending Ram!? She was so mean to him! Does... does this mean he likes Ram more than me? Is that why he isn't taking my side... because Ram means more to him than me!? No! No! I don't want that! Subaru is MINE!_

Then Subaru pulls Emilia into a tight hug and begins to whisper into her ear. "It's okay, Emilia-tan. I'm not upset. Remember, we are heading on our date. To the flower fields. Just you and me. Don't you want go with me anymore?" 

"I want to go. I re~~lly want to go. But she was so mean to you, Subaru. She needs to be nicer. Someone needs to teach her to be nicer." Emilia whimpers in response to Subaru. He starts to stroke Emilia's back and hair. And then... 

"Lady Emilia is correct, Su~~baru-kun. Ram does need to show your e~~steemed personage more respect. As a so~on to be knight of the Mathers domain, your station and status now excee~ds hers by a great amount. As a maid of the Roswaal ho~~usehold, she surely knows better than to show you disre~~spect." Roswaal proclaims as he sweeps into the room with a grand gesture and waves of charisma. 

"Plea~~se, Lady Emilia, allow me to deal with Ram. It is my re~~sponsibility as this domain's lord. I will ensure she receives the appropriate punishment for her actions. You have my word." 

Listening to Roswaal's words, Emilia starts to relax in Subaru's embrace. Subaru breaths a sigh of relief and looks at Roswaal. For a moment, Emilia swore that Subaru's eyes lost all light when he looks at Roswaal, but before it can truly register in her mind, Subaru is smiling down at her. 

"Come on, Emilia-tan. Now that everything is taken care of, let's head on our date." 

Emilia's briliant smile resurfaces on her face, but as they are heading out the door, Ram turns from a whispered conversation with Roswaal and makes a slight bow. 

"My apologies, Emilia-sama, Subaru-sama. Ram has spoken out of turn. She will endeavor to treat Subaru-sama with respect going forward. Ram hopes you will forgive her." 

Emilia frowns as Subaru responds in the affirmative. 

"Alright, Nee-sama. We will forgive you. Right, Emilia-tan?" 

Emilia nods as Subaru guides her out the door and into the wagon with the paint supplies. As Emilia gets comfortable, Subaru mounts Patrasche. 

The ride to flower fields is pleasant and refreshing for Emilia as she watches her Subaru guide Patrasche. Emilia's eyelids start to droop. Her recent lack of sleep is starting to catch up to her. Emilia dreams... 

_"... I love you, Emilia." Flashes of ice and snow. An unknown woman with short, silver hair and Subaru's eyes._

_"Can you run in the direction of the flowers? Past the flowers... straight ahead... Now run. No matter what you hear, don't turn back... Run!" A blonde haired, dirty elven youth falling asleep against a tree._

_A door in the middle of the forest. A girl with platinum hair. Broken promises?_

_A man in black priest clothes laughing maniacally while sobbing. Why is he crying?_

_The silver haired stranger with Subaru's eyes. Blood. So much blood. A hole in her chest. She seems familiar... Mother? No. I don't have a mother. Only a father, Puck..._

_No, I had a mother..._

_Mother..._

_Mother... Fortuna?_

_Mother Fortuna!_

"Emilia!" 

_Subaru?_

"She's having another nightmare. It's been a rough day for Emilia. Dammit! I should have been paying more attention! I know better than to let her fall asleep right now. I've already repeated this day 3,836 times." 

_Repeated? Silly Subaru. What are you talking about? You can't do a day again. You get one chance. Even I know that._

"Well, maybe I would have been paying more attention if someone wasn't on her slander Emilia-tan kick again instead of just shutting up when I asked." 

_Is Subaru talking to someone? His voice sounds so cold. Is he upset? Nobody should be upsetting my Subaru. Where are they!? I'll punish them good!_

"Oh? Hang on, I think she's waking up. Emilia?" 

Emilia's eyes flutter open. Her head is on a warm, firm pillow. Subaru is looking down on her from an odd angle. He's smiling at her. Emilia realizes that her head is in Subaru's lap. She reaches up her hand and places it on Subaru's cheek. 

"That's good. My Subaru should always be smiling. When I was waking up, I thought I heard your voice. You sounded like you were talking to someone. You sounded so cold. So, I thought someone has upset you. I don't want anyone to make you cry, Subaru." Emilia gently said as she smiles and strokes Subaru's cheek. 

For the briefest of moments, Subaru's eyes held a look of deep sadness and loneliness, like a punished, beaten child. Then the look was gone and Subaru smiled down at her with a big grin. Did she really see that look in his eyes or was it just her sleep addled brain playing tricks on her? Emilia wasn't sure, but she was happy her Subaru was smiling again. Subaru's smile made her heart feel so~~ warm. 

"While I am happy that Emilia-tan is so quick to defend me, it does cause my masculine heart to feel very conflicted... wait... my Subaru? Has Emilia-tan grown super possessive of me?" Subaru laughs. 

In answer, Emilia grins and rolls off of Subaru's lap. As she gets to her feet, she looks around and realizes that they are at the flower fields. Excitement fills Emilia's heart. She does her second happy twirl of the day amongst the colorful blossoms. 

Subaru grins as he watches Emilia. "Relax for a few moments and I will get the paint supplies out and set up, Emilia-tan." Subaru says over his shoulder as he heads towards the wagon. 

Emilia enjoys the feel of the sun's warmth, of a gentle breeze, and the scent of flowers. She just relaxes and thinks of nothing for a moment. Just like Subaru told her to. 

"Are you ready to paint, Emilia-tan?" Subaru asks as he set up a pair of stools and two easels to hold stacks of thick paper. 

"I am! What are you going to paint, Subaru?" 

"I was thinking maybe I would paint Emilia-tan." Subaru says as he opens various containers of colored paint. "What will Emilia-tan paint?" 

"Hmmm... I think I'll paint Subaru and the flowers?" Emilia responds as she cutely tilts her head. 

"Then I look forward to Emilia-tan's art." Subaru smiles as he hands Emilia a set of brushes to paint with. 

Emilia and Subaru paint for around ten minutes. Emilia is about fed up with her brushes. She looks over at Subaru. His expression is very serious and focused as he runs his brushes all over his canvas. 

_How sweet! My Subaru is trying rea~~lly hard to paint me. I need to try hard as well, but I paint best with my fingers._

Emilia puts her brushes aside and starts painting with her fingers. Her and Subaru continue like this for another hour. It's at this point, while Emilia is thinking of painting a red sky to finish her drawing of Suabru, that she notices there is no red paint. 

_Maybe silly Subaru forgot it? It's probably still in the wagon._

Emilia heads over to the wagon, but after careful searching with her paint stained fingers, she can't find any red paint. 

_Darn. I need red paint. My drawing of Subaru won't be finished without it. I need to finish my drawing of Subaru. I need to try hard, just like Subaru. He will be so impressed._

As Emilia glances around the wagon for an alternative source of red paint, she sees Patrasche sleeping in front of the wagon in a patch of sun. Emilia has an idea. She takes an empty paint container from the back of the wagon and forms an icicle shard in the air. 

A half an hour later, Emilia bounds over to Subaru with her finished masterpiece and proudly displays it. The drawing looks nothing like Subaru. It would be hard to call the figure depicted in it as a human. 

"Emilia-tan, what a..." Subaru frowns slightly at Emilia's art, "...wonderful likeness of me." Subaru finishes with a smile. 

Emilia pouts at Subaru's response. "Well I thought it was good." Emilia huffs. 

Subaru frowns at the drawing again. "Weird. I thought we were out of red paint. I couldn't find any when I searched the mansion's art room... oh well. Maybe I grabbed some and didn't realize." 

Subaru makes a few finishing strokes to his piece and presents it to Emilia. "What do you think, Emilia-tan? I think it's a great likeness. I feel like I practiced painting a few thousand times just to make this." 

"I don't know, Subaru. You got my hair and eye color right, but the shape of the eyes is all wrong. They should look more like your's. And I should be more fit and imposing." Emilia explains as she inspects the painting. The picture was, of course, a perfect likeness of Emilia, painted by the hand of someone near a master's level. 

"Just what does Emilia-tan think she looks like!?" Subaru exclaims. 

"Oh. Well, I rea~~lly want to look like Mo... mo..." Emilia frowns, "Huh. I'm suddenly not sure who I want to look like... I had someone in mind, but now I can't seem to recall." 

"Say, is Emilia-tan getting hungry? I packed a picnic for us." Subaru asks the distracted Emilia. Emilia realizes she hasn't eaten yet today and suddenly, she is famished. Emilia puts her picture down and claps her paint covered hands. 

"That would be wonderful, Subaru!" Emilia smiles in joy. She's really hungry. 

Emilia and Subaru clean up the paint supplies and load them back into the wagon. While Subaru spreads out a blanket and starts laying out the meal, Emilia scrubs her hands clean with an old towel and some water from a canteen. Subaru, of course, didn't have a speck of paint on him. 

Subaru and Emilia ate cold sandwiches and drank appa juice. During the meal, Emilia tells Subaru about all the things she has learned through out the week from her studies. When they are done, Emilia leans into Subaru and places her head on his shoulder. 

"Thank you, Subaru. I rea~~lly had a good time today." Emilia murmured. Then, on impulse, Emilia presses her soft lips to Subaru's. 

For a few seconds, Subaru doesn't respond. Then Emilia feels him kiss her back. The kiss is hungry. Their lips melt together, their tongues entwined in a fierce battle for dominance. One of them moans. Neither know which of them it is. 

Subaru winces and pulls back sharply. "Subaru?" Emilia half breaths, half moans his name. "Are you okay?" 

_Why? Why did Subaru stop? Did I do something wrong? Have I upset him? Please, don't be mad! I'm sorry!_

"I'm sorry, Emilia. It's not you. I promise. I just have a greedy bug yelling too loudly in my ear." Subaru says to Emilia as she starts to spiral out of control. 

_What? What is Subaru saying? A bug? I don't understand._

Subaru winces again. "Sorry. Forget what I said, Emilia-tan. It was just a little joke." 

Subaru stands up and helps Emilia up. Once she is on her feet, Subaru presses his lips to her's once again in a quick kiss. 

"I promise. It's not you. I wouldn't mind doing this again, but for now, we should be heading back. Everyone will start to worry if we are out too late into the day." Subaru says with a big smile. 

Subaru and Emilia head over to the wagon, where Patrasche waits to greet the pair. Subaru mounts his black ground dragon. He fails to notice the dead rabbit near the rear wheel of the wagon. A dead rabbit that is pierced from one side to the other. It's wound has a bit of frost around it. Strangely, there is almost no blood. 

Instead of getting in the wagon, Emilia mounts Patrasche behind Subaru. Subaru gives her an inquisitive look. 

"This is fine, right, Subaru?" Emilia asks with an upturned face. 

Subaru smiles. "Of course. I would never turn Emilia-tan away." 

As Patrasche starts to move at light jog, Emilia leans into Subaru's back and wraps her arms gently around his waist. She sighs in contentment and as they rode back, Emilia lightly dozes with her head against Subaru's back. Subaru faces forward with a neutral, cold expression and presses his arm against Emilia's arms to hold her in place. 

For the first time in a month, Emilia sleeps without any nightmares.


	2. Chapter 2

# Darkness Approaches

Emilia rubs her tired eyes. The silver haired half elf isn't sleeping well. Every night she is plagued by nightmares of events she can never remember. 

_I haven't slept well since the Sanctuary... well, that's not true. There was that one time three weeks ago when I slept on Patrasche's back while hugging my Subaru. It's a shame that the rest that brought only lasted a few hours before my head was foggy again. Maybe I should ask Subaru if I can sleep next to him again?_

Emilia's thoughts are wandering while she is staring at a historical account on Lagunica Kingdom's Demi-human War from forty years ago. Subaru had visited her a couple of hours ago. 

_I wish Subaru could have stayed longer. He was only here for a half an hour today. I had practically begged him to stay longer, but that dum-dum Subaru didn't take the hint! I even tried to pin him down with a hug so he couldn't leave! But no! He has an important matter to take care of he says! I can't come along he says! Can't tell me what it is he says! Then he just... just... runs away before I can pin him down properly!_

Emilia huffs and pouts at her text book as if it is somehow at fault for her Subaru escaping her. The only reason Emilia is studying is because it's what Subaru told her to do today. 

_And since my Subaru told me to, I will continue to do my best. Even if he is a dunderhead._

Emilia sighs and tries to refocus on her book, but it's really hard. She just isn't absorbing the information today. 

Knock, knock. 

_Subaru!? Did he come back!?_

"Lady Emilia, I have brought your afternoon tea and snacks." The blonde headed beast maid, Frederica, states politely as she enters the room with a silver tray full of cakes and tea. 

The quarter beast woman is Emilia's favorite of the Roswaal housemaids. She is easy to get along with and unlike the other maids, Frederica has no designs on her Subaru and doesn't bully him. 

"Oh..." Emilia mutters with a bit of dejection at seeing Frederica instead of her Subaru, but she immediately perks back up as she sees some of the weird cakes from Subaru's homeland on the tray. 

Frederica lays a plate with two cakes in front of Emilia and pours her a cup of dark tea before adding milk and a large amount of sweetener until the tea turns a light brown. All the maids know how much Emilia adores her sweets. Although, it is a small mystery among the maids as to how Emilia manages to keep such a slim, toned figure with so little exercise due to her studies and so many sweets. 

"These cakes were specifically made for Emilia-sama by Subaru-sama. He asked that I wish you the best in your studies on his behalf." The quarter beast maid offered. 

_Subaru made me cakes! He is so kind and thoughtful! I was a little upset that he left earlier, but now I see he was only trying to surprise me, that goof._

Emilia claps her hands in delight and grabs her fork. She almost squees in joy as she devours the delicious cakes. 

"Subaru-sama also wanted me to let you know that he will attempt to make it back in time to join you for dinner, Lady Emilia." 

Emilia's fork stopped. 

_Back? Subaru left the mansion and didn't tell me he was leaving? But Subaru always tells me when he is going out... why... are you hiding something from me, my Subaru?_

"Frederica, did Subaru say where he was headed?" Emilia asks as she resumes eating her cake with less enthusiasm. 

"No, Lady Emilia. Subaru-sama never mentioned where he had been headed to or why. As a maid of the Roswaal household, I didn't feel it was my place to pry." Frederica states with a brief apologetic bow. 

_I see. It seems I will have to seek out someone else to find out where Subaru went._

Emilia finishes her tea and cakes and stands up. 

"Lady Emilia, is anything the matter?" 

"No, Frederica. I am just going to take a quick walk to digest my food and stretch my legs." 

"I see. Then I hope you enjoy your walk, Emilia-sama. I will get this cleaned up." Frederica calls as Emilia exits her rooms. 

Wandering through the mansion, Emilia wonders who she should hunt for first. 

_Who would be the most likely candidate that Subaru would tell where he went? I'm sure it's nothing special. That's right. I just need to make sure my Subaru isn't in some kind of trouble. He worked so~~ hard to wrap up things in the Santuary and I wasn't able to help him at all. I need to make up for being useless when I should have been helping Subaru to protect everyone. I need to be better!_

As Emilia continues through the halls of the mansion, she comes across a sharp toothed young man, Garfiel, Frederica's younger brother. Emilia hasn't spoken much to Garfiel. While he is never hostile to Emilia, he never seems happy to see her either. She would like it if they were on better terms. Maybe they could be friends, but Emilia knows Garfiel isn't happy about how Subaru saved the Santuary by going behind his back. 

"Hello, Garfiel." Emilia greets the fourteen year old with a smile. 

"Princess." Garfiel replies in a neutral tone. 

"You wouldn't happen to know where Subaru's gone, would you, Garfiel?" 

"Mineself can't be bothered to keep track o' tha' bastard, Princess." Garfiel growls. 

_**BASTARD!?** It really burns me up when he talks like that. He's so~~ childish! My Subaru saved him! He should be grateful! And instead he... **HE**!!!_

As Emilia's eyes start to narrow, she feels a hand on her shoulder. The pink haired oni, Ram, walks into her field of view. 

"Garf. You need to show more respect to Subaru-sama and Emilia-sama. I know you are unhappy with how things went at the Sanctuary, but that is due to your own failings as a man. It is unfair of you to take that anger out on the man that Roswaal-sama and Emilia-sama both respect and trust. Subaru-sama has accomplished many great things and will continue to accomplish great things in the future." Ram scolds Garfiel with an edge to her voice. 

Garfiel grinds his teeth together in barely contained rage. " **Ram.** Are ya tellin' my great self to just... bow down an' ace'pt tha' little shit on th' word o' a kinky clown and thi' timid princess!?" 

_Garf! You big meanie! Don't you talk about my Subaru and I like that! I think I'm going to need to teach you some **manners** , mister._

As the tempature starts to drop and Emilia hardens her will to school Garfiel in her own brand of etiquette, Ram squeezes Emilia's shoulder and shakes her head. 

"I am, Garf. It's what's best for Frederica, the people of the Sanctuary, and your grandmothers and you know it. So stop posturing and get over yourself for everyone's sake." Ram states in an authoritative tone. 

Garfiel's eyes fill with hurt and dejection as he clenches his teeth. He stares at Ram and starts to tremble. 

"I... **DAMMIT**!!!" Garfiel wails and leaps out a nearby open window. 

Ram turns to Emilia, "I am sorry, Lady Emilia. I will speak to Garf on your behalf. Please leave this matter to me." 

Emilia still feels like she needs to give Garfiel a piece of her mind, but she decides to entrust the task to Ram. In the past three weeks, Emilia hasn't heard Ram bad mouth her Subaru even one time. She's been a good girl and good girls get rewards. 

"Alright, Ram. I will leave the matter of Garfiel to you. Do you happen to know where Subaru went?" Emilia sighs as her muscles untense. 

"I do not, Lady Emilia. I did see Petra speaking to Subaru-sama before he left. She should be cleaning the stables if you would like to speak to her. I need to return to my duties. I will speak to Garf the next time I see him." Ram bows to Emilia and heads down the hall. 

_Yes. I definitely think Ram is being a rea~~ly good girl lately. As long as she gives my Subaru the treatment he deserves, I won't need to scold her._

As Emilia exits the mansion to head toward the stables, she can hear Garfiel off in the woods howling and carrying on. 

_Really now. He's being such a child. All he has to do is be polite to my Subaru! It's not that hard! Everyone else manages it just fine. I'll give Ram a chance, but if I need to, I **will** step in to wallop some manners into him._

Emilia huffs and makes a pouty face in Garfiel's direction. "Geez." 

As Emilia walks into the stables, she sees Petra laying down fresh hay for the ground dragons. As she expected, Patrasche is missing from her stable. 

"Hello, Petra." Emilia says in a cheery voice. 

Petra, who is daydreaming while she works, startles at the sound of Emilia's voice. 

"Lady Emilia! I wasn't expecting you to be here. Do you need something from the stables? I can get it for you." Petra breaths before remembering her manners and doing a quick curtsy. 

_Petra is such a good girl. She's learning so~~ fast. If only she didn't make eyes at my Subaru. She may be young, but I can't underestimate her as a potential opponent down the road. I can't let anyone, young or old, take my Subaru away... oh well. She hasn't tried anything, so I will leave her alone for now, but if I have to, I will teach her whose Subaru she is looking at._

"Petra, I heard Subaru left earlier. Do you happen to know where he went?" Emilia asks with a smile. 

"Subaru... I mean Subaru-sama left earlier to head to Costuul. He chatted with one of the merchants that stopped by today to drop off some goods at the mansion. It turns out that the merchant was one of the ones that helped transport everyone to the capital during the Sloth incident. He said... he said that he saw Otto-san in Costuul..." Petra's voice trailed off at the end. 

The gray haired merchant, Otto Suwen. He had briefly been a companion to Emilia's camp during the incident at the Sanctuary. While he didn't do much and lacked anything resembling presence, Otto was friendly with Subaru. Subaru also mentioned that he wanted Otto to become her Internal Affairs Minister. In the end, however, Otto turned away from Subaru's offered friendship and title. 

_And then Otto left. He was only with us for around two weeks, but I could tell how much Subaru liked him. Otto should have realized how lucky he was to have my Subaru reach out to him. If he comes back and admits his wrong doing, I might only make him pay a little bit for hurting Subaru's feelings... but if I ever see him again and he hasn't..._

"Lady Emilia!?" Petra squeaks. 

Emilia was unaware that her mana has been leaking out causing frost to form on the ground. She quickly reins it back in. 

"Sorry, Petra. I was just thinking about how Subaru tried to hide how upset he was at Otto leaving. I got a bit cross at Otto. I didn't mean to scare you." Emilia smiles at Petra. 

"Oh. I see... Yes, Subaru-sama did seem a little down after Otto left. I'm not sure he even realized it. Maybe we should do something for him if things don't work out in Costuul?" 

"That's a wonderful idea, Petra. Do you have anything in mind?" 

"Umm... oh! I can ask Frederica-neesama to make one of Subaru's favorite meals for dinner since she is cooking tonight. Excuse me, Lady Emilia. I have to hurry before dinner preparations are started!" Petra said with a huge grin as she dashes back towards the mansion. 

_I need to think of something I can do for Subaru as well when he gets back. It will likely be a couple more hours before Subaru returns. For the time being, I should head back to my room and continue studying. I don't want my Subaru to be disappointed in me because I didn't do what he told me to._

Emilia did her best to spend the next couple of hours focusing on her studying, but her mind couldn't help but wander back to what she could do for her Subaru when he got back. 

Before she realizes it, there is knock at Emilia's door and Subaru is there with a big smile on his face. 

_Subaru! Oh no, I still haven't thought of what I can do for my Subaru! Wait! Emilia, calm down! You don't even know if he's upset. Maybe he found Otto and he's back with good news..._

Emilia smiles at Subaru as he enters the room. Subaru looks tired, but his grin gets even bigger as he looks at the smiling Emilia. 

"It's good to see your cute face, Emilia-tan. I feel like it's been months since I've seen you. Do you want to have dinner with me?" 

Emilia laughs, "Silly Subaru. You saw me just this morning. And I would love to have dinner with you." 

"Really? Only this morning, huh?" Subaru lets out a tired sigh as he sits down on Emilia's sofa in her room, "It feels like I've just been repeating today over and over again. I guess I'm just tired." 

_Oh no. My Subaru looks really worn out. I need to think of a way to comfort him._

Emilia closes the history book she barely read and stands up. She circles around to the front of her desk and over to behind her sofa. As Subaru sits on the sofa with his eyes closed, Emilia reaches down and starts to gently rub Subaru's shoulders. 

At first, she can feel Subaru's shoulders tense up at her touch, but then the muscles relax as she starts to work at the knots she can feel under her fingers. 

_That's it, my Subaru. Just go ahead and relax. Let your Emilia take your stress away._

A few minutes pass in silence as Emilia works over Subaru's shoulders. For her part, Emilia simply allows her fingers and the feeling of tension in Subaru's muscles guide her to the areas that need the most work. Emilia is always impressed by how fit Subaru stays. While his frame is on the slimmer side compared to many of the larger men in the kingdom, there is no denying the muscle attached to it. 

With his eyes closed and his face relaxed, Subaru asks, "So, what did I do to deserve this reward, Emilia-tan? Not that I'm complaining mind you." 

"You always do so~~ much for me, Subaru. Is it wrong of me to want give something back every now and again?" Emilia hesitates for a second, "Plus, I heard about your trip to Costuul along with why you went from Petra." 

"Ah." Subaru let's out a breath, "So, you heard about Otto..." 

_Emilia! You dummy! You aren't supposed to just blurt it out! Tact, Emilia. Tact! I rea~~lly hope I didn't upset my Subaru._

Emilia beats herself up in her own head while she waits for Subaru to continue. 

"I didn't find him. Either the merchant this morning was mistaken or Otto had already left before I arrived at Costuul. The couple of leads I managed to find during my search all ran dry..." 

_Think, Emilia! Your Subaru is still down! What else can I do?... Ah! Wait! I know!_

Emilia stops rubbing Subaru's shoulders and slowly leans down to press her lips to Subaru's. The kiss this time is quick. Almost a brushing of the lips before Emilia pulls back to leave some space between herself and Subaru. 

"Do you feel any better?" 

"I don't know. Maybe if Emilia-tan does that a bit more, I might feel better." Subaru responds as his eyes slide open and a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. He gently reaches up and slides his hand behind Emilia's head and into her soft, silky, silver hair. As he pulls her lips back to his, Emilia doesn't resist at all. Their lips meet a second time. A third time. A fourth. Emilia's skin begins to feel warm again. Her head feels fuzzy. She starts to press her lips more firmly to Subaru's, almost as if she is willing their faces to melt together. 

A knock comes from Emilia's door. "Emilia-sama, it's Petra. I've brought Subaru-sama's, as well as your dinner." 

Emilia frowns at the interruption. She really wants to continue what she is doing with Subaru. 

_I could send her away. Tell her to come back later. Maybe punish her later for interrupting my Subaru and I... no... no... Petra is a good girl. I need to stop having these weird thoughts. I decided I would only scold her if she makes a move on my Subaru._

As Emilia deliberates on how to respond to Petra, Subaru straightens out his clothes and answers for Emilia. "It's alright, Petra. Go ahead and bring dinner in." 

Emilia tries to hide her surprise. It isn't that Subaru answered for her. That is fine. Emilia's surprise is at the fact that Subaru is breathing normally and seems completely composed. Emilia feels flushed and out of breath. 

_Has... has my Subaru done this with someone else? Is he that used to kissing? No... **no**... that can't be right... **MY** Subaru would **NEVER** kiss someone other than me. Clearly, I'm just bad at kissing. Yeah. That's all. I just need more practice... with Subaru._

Petra enters Emilia's bedroom with a cart full of dishes. As she glances at Emilia, a hint of surprise flickers through Petra's eyes. 

_Does she know? Can she see the signs? Good. I hope she knows. Maybe she'll stop looking at my..._

Petra's eyes flicker over to Subaru. There is a flash of relief in her eyes followed by warmth. 

Emilia's eyes narrow. 

"Is everything okay, Lady Emilia? Is the food not to your liking?" Petra asks, having misunderstood Emilia's facial expression. 

Emilia feels a hand on her arm. She looks down to see Subaru looking at her with a smile... and what Emilia thinks is concern in his eyes. 

_Dummy! Stop having weird thoughts. Act normal or I'll worry Subaru!_

"No. The food is fine. I'm sure it will be delicious." Emilia says as she shakes her head. 

In truth, Emilia hasn't even looked at the food yet. As she takes the time to look at it, it really does look delicious. The trays are filled with all of Subaru's favorites and almost everything seems to have mayo either as a side or an ingredient. Excitement fills Emilia along with a large grin covering her face. Most of the dishes that Subaru likes are also favorites of Emilia. 

Excited by the meal, Emilia has already forgotten about her concerns over Petra. 

After setting out the meals on Emilia's coffee table, Petra curtsys and takes her leave. Emilia sits down across from Subaru. 

"So, my day didn't meet with success. How did your day go, Emilia-tan?" Subaru asks as he starts in on his meal. 

_Darn! I can't tell Subaru I accomplished almost nothing because I was too worried about him._

"Awww. I'm sorry, Emilia-tan. I didn't mean to worry you so much that you couldn't get anything done. Thank you for worrying about me." Subaru said with a big grin. 

"Eh?" _Wait! Did I say my thought out loud!? Emilia! You dummy!_ "Don't worry about it. I was just worried that you were off to do something su~~per important again and didn't tell me. I mean, you did so much at the Sanctuary for me and I had no idea what you were going through... I was just being a baby and crying a lot..." Emilia's voice trails off with a slight blush and a sad smile. 

Subaru reaches across the table and puts his hand on Emilia's cheek. Emilia leans into Subaru's hand and rubs her face against it. 

"So cute... she's like a kitten..." Subaru comments while staring at Emilia nuzzling his hand. 

"Do you want me to dress up like a kitty? If Subaru says it's a good idea, I will do it. I could wear ears and a tail like Puck's!" Emilia says as she gets more and more excited at the idea of dressing up. 

_I would have preferred to be a bunny a couple of months ago, but I know my Subaru doesn't like bunnies anymore since the Great Rabbit in the Sanctuary. That's why bunnies are evil now. If bunnies have upset Subaru, I will do my best to wipe them from existence._

Unaware of Emilia's internal declaration of war on all rabbits, Subaru is caught up in Emilia's excitement about dressing up. 

"I mean, if Emilia-tan wants to cosplay as a kitty, I am definitely all for it... but we should definitely keep it as a private showing. I can only imagine what people would think about Lagunica's next ruler if she is running around dressed like a cat person demi-human. I'm pretty sure more than a few people would find that offensive or distasteful." Subaru says with an excited, thoughtful expression. 

"Eh? Cous-pay? What's that?" Emilia expression fills with a bit of confusion at the unfamiliar term. 

"Oh, don't worry about it, Emilia-tan. It's just a word from my homeland for dressing up in costume and pretending to be someone else for a while." 

"So~~... it's like a disguise? Like what spies do? This cous-pay? Am I understanding it correctly?" 

"Well... yeah, I guess you could look at it that way. Anyway, when we head to the capital next week so we can have our measurements taken for our outfits for my Knighting ceremony at that expensive tailor Roswaal knows, we can look into getting the stuff for your kitty cosplay then. I'm sure I could sew everything myself. If anyone in the capital gets wise about what we are making, I can just blame it on Roswaal's widely known demi-human fetish. I'm sure Roswaal will make a fitting sacrifice to maintain Emilia-tan's royal dignity." Subaru says with confidence. 

While he is unaware of it, Subaru actually lost Emilia mid-coversation when her heart and mind started to soar with thoughts of her Subaru as her knight. Emilia starts to get lost in day dreams of her knight, Sir Subaru Natsuki. Thoughts of him kicking in the door to the ceremonial chamber where his knighting would take place and proclaiming her to be his as he sweeps her off her feet into princess carry and gallantly strides from the room cradling her in his arms. 

Subaru realizes he has lost Emilia to another one of her recent "flights of fancy" as he calls them. He sits there waving his hand in front of Emilia's face while she takes on a dopey smile and a red tint. Subaru snaps his fingers in front of Emilia's face. Emilia startles as the glazed look leaves her eyes. 

_Ah! What!? Oh! Subaru was saying something and I totally spaced out thinking of him! That's so~~ embarrassing!_

Emilia's face turned a darker red. "I'm so~~ sorry, Subaru. What was that about the capital? I got lost in my thoughts." 

"I said we could pick up the stuff for me to make your kitty cosplay while we get fitted at the capital. It's a bit of a pain to go all the way there just to be fitted, but the tailor Roswaal wants to use is too busy to make it out to the mansion to measure us... so, what were you thinking about, Emilia-tan?" 

Emilia, whose complexion had been returning to normal, immediately goes bright red again. 

"Subaru! You dummy! You don't ask girls about those sorts of things! It's just rude!" 

"Eh? Rude!? To ask you for your thoughts!?" Subaru was momentarily dumbstruck. His confused expression clearly conveys that he has no idea what he said wrong. 

_Oh no! I'm getting so flustered that I lashed out at Subaru! I can't possibly tell him I was thinking of us hugging, kissing, and holding hands! That's so~~ embarrassing! It was easy when I just went and did it on the spur of the moment! Quick, Emilia! You need an exit strategy! Time to change subjects!_

Emilia stands up from her seat, face red. "I am going to take my bath!" 

"Eh!?" Subaru seems even more confused. 

Emilia storms out of her room without looking back... only to immediately storm back in and head to her closet to get her bath stuff. 

_Alright, Emilia. You've made a fool of yourself, but I can fix this. I'll just distract Subaru from asking about my thoughts by inviting him to the bath with me. Oh! That's perfect! He can wash my hair and my back! And then I wash his hair and his... somehow that seems rea~~lly embarrassing to think about..._

As Emilia's blush intensifies at her thoughts, she shakes her head and takes a moment to calm herself. 

_We are just sharing a bath. There is nothing weird about that. I have shared baths with the other girls in the mansion before and it was fine. Puck has told me that I shouldn't bathe with boys, but Puck is a liar. He is a boy and he has bathed with me, so clearly it is okay for Subaru to bathe with me. Right? So I just need to ask Subaru to join me._

As Emilia stuck her head out to ask her question, she stopped, her question dying on her lips. Subaru was sitting on the couch with his face twisted into a grimace as if he is in pain. His right hand is lifted to his temple as if his head is hurting. 

"Subaru? Are you alright? You look like you're hurting." Emilia asks with concern in her voice as she comes out of the closet and heads over to where Subaru is sitting. "Do you want me to use my healing magic?" 

Emilia watches as Subaru lifts his eyes up to Emilia. His face relaxes and he smiles at her. 

"No, that's okay, Emilia-tan. I just have a bit of a headache. I'll be alright. It's been a long day. I just need a bit of rest is all." 

"Are you sure?" Emilia asks with a hint of concern in her voice. "I can still try and heal you. I'm not as good with internal stuff, but I can try." 

"No, no. It's fine. There is nothing for you to worry about, Emilia." 

_Dummy... I'm going to worry anyway. I'm always going to want to help you, my Subaru. You should just let me help..._

"Emilia-tan?" 

Subaru gives Emilia a weird look as she sits down at the other end of the couch and reaches over to him. She feels Subaru give in as Emilia pulls his head onto her lap. 

"Shhh. Just relax. Rest. I'm here. Everything will be okay." Emilia whispers softly in her bell like voice. She starts to run her fingers gently through Subaru's soft, black hair. 

Within minutes, Subaru's breathing had softened into the gentle pattern of sleep. 

_Subaru must be really tired. He didn't even get embarrassed this time when I lent him my lap. Otto's betrayal must weight on him far heavier than he realizes. Don't worry, my Subaru. Your Emilia will take care of everything for you. I won't leave you to suffer again after what happened in the Sanctuary. I wasn't there for you then, but I will be there for you now._

Emilia and Subaru stayed like this well into the late evening hours while Subaru slept, but Subaru showed no signs of waking up. 

Eventually, Emilia realizes that Subaru will likely be out for rest of the night and her legs are getting stiff. She really needs to get up and stretch. 

_So much for our bath. But my Subaru needs the rest. He's worked so~~ hard for me. I should take him to his bed._

Emilia gently moves Subaru off her lap and stands up. She stretches her legs and lower back before opening her door. She returns to the couch and lifts Subaru into a princess carry. 

_I have to be careful not to wake up Subaru. He will be so upset if he knows I carried him to bed like this._

Emilia heads down the hall towards Subaru's room. Upon reaching the door, she tries to turn the handle without disturbing Subaru. This proves to be a bit more difficult than she realizes. 

"Emilia-sama? Do you need assistance?" Frederica whispers from Emilia's side. 

Emilia was so busy trying to open the door without waking Subaru, that she hadn't even noticed Frederica walk up to her. 

"Yes, please. Subaru is tuckered out from his day, so I am trying to put him in his bed." Emilia whispers back. 

Frederica smiles behind her sleeve as she opens the door. She enters Subaru's room ahead of Emilia and pulls Subaru's sheets back. As Emilia gently places Subaru into his bed, Frederica looks at Emilia. 

"Emilia-sama, would you like me to change Subaru-sama into his nightwear?" Frederica whispers to Emilia. 

_Eh? Change Subaru? Should we? It would be polite and I would need Frederica's help to change him without waking him... but, I also don't want Frederica to see my Subaru like that even if I know she isn't chasing him like the others. Maybe seeing Subaru's well muscled body will make her start chasing him... yeah, I should avoid that._

"No, that's alright. I will take his shoes off, but it will be fine if he sleeps in this." 

"As you wish, Emilia-sama. I will leave you to it then." Frederica says as she hides a mischievous smile behind her sleeve. Frederica quietly exits the room and leaves the door open a crack. 

Emilia works at removing both of Subaru's shoes and sits them next to the bed. She stares lovingly at Subaru's face, but she is surprised when she notices Subaru no longer looks peaceful and seems agitated in his sleep. 

_Is he having nightmares like me? Oh, my Subaru. I didn't realize you were suffering from bad dreams, too. You were so peaceful when you were on my lap. Maybe... maybe we both need to comfort each other._

Remembering bits of her own nightmares, Emilia slides into Subaru's bed and wraps her arms around him. Subaru nestles up against her and the agitation on his face smooths back into the peaceful expression Emilia had seen earlier. Emilia smiles and lays her head down next to Subaru and drifts off to sleep herself. 

A couple hours later, a beast maid pokes her head into the room to see the couple snuggled up to each other like a pair of kids. Frederica smiles a giant sharp toothed grin as she quietly closes the door. "I'll just make sure to come collect Emilia-sama early in the morning. It wouldn't do to have Petra see the two of them like that when she comes to wake Subaru. She'll be impossible to work with tomorrow if she does." 

Outside the mansion, a little ways away at a certain cliff that a certain young man had once thrown himself from, a woman seemingly materializes from the shadows. Dressed in a pitch black cloak, with long dark brown hair tied in ponytail, many would call her cute if it wasn't for the dark bags under her eyes, her slightly hunched posture and a jagged scar across her throat. 

"Keh, keh, keh. So, this is where Elsa and Meili disappeared at... and my quasi spirit says her targets are still alive... keh, keh, keh, did you finally meet your end, Elsa? Did you drag Meili down with you? I thought you were better than that. Mother will be so disappointed, but don't worry, your 'nee-sama', Sasha the Shade, will be more than happy to finish your work... keh, keh, keh..." Sasha rasped from her damaged throat, as she faded back into the shadows...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I hope you enjoyed this new chapter. This chapter, along with previous chapter, is intended to start laying the groundwork for various character's relationships with Emilia and future events in the story.
> 
> For those that waited patiently for this chapter, thank you. It had been my intention to have this chapter up at the beginning of the month instead of the end, but life had other plans for me.
> 
> I hope you are looking forward to the next chapter.
> 
> As before, I respond to comments on Ao3, but the easiest was to reach me is on Reddit as u/Demon_Maid. I can be found normally lurking around the Re:Zero subreddit.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N For the purposes of this work, Kasaneru/Greed IF Subaru is considered emotionally repressed. While often depicted as emotionally dead, short of physical brain damage or magical interference, it is generally not possible for even severe trauma to completely kill all emotions permanently. The human brain will continue to produce the appropriate chemicals to cause emotions. These can be automatically repressed or forced down to cause a pseudo-emotionless state due to trauma, but this will only cause the emotions to build under the surface. This may occur for years until an emotional breaking point is reached where they all burst out in a very short span of time. This type of emotional break can occur suddenly or slowly over a longer span of time.
> 
> In regards to Kasaneru/Greed IF Emilia, her increased zoning out or airheadedness during the course of the story and inability to keep her thoughts straight are due largely to a combination of mental trauma and semi-long term sleep deprivation.
> 
> Comments will occasionally be checked on Ao3, but it is easier to locate me on Reddit as U/Demon_Maid. I can often be found around the Re:Zero subreddit. Constructive Criticism welcome. Abusive language, threats, hate speech, etc. will not be tolerated and will be reported to the appropriate parties.


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